She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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