woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
