dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
