HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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