I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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