He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize