doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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