forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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