Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
What a dumb baby whore.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
