Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
