After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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