There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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