there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
