from now on my penis is your penis
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
organizing the empties. That sober.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
