Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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