yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
