its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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