i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
soo... how was my night?
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