I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize