make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
