Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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