I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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