So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
