Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
