D3 body, D1 cock
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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