they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Randomize
