i may or may not be watching the land before time
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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