Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
