i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
