his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize