how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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