I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
