I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
