watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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