so explain again why im purple
no
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
