I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
