Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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