Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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