what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
