Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
