STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize