Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
