He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
