then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize