You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
