YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
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.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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