'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
