in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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