He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
