do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
