We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
