We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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