Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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