I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
