Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
