Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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