She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
