I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
