those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
