The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
