Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize
