I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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