I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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