i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
