FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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